Dating men on the rebound
This girl comes from a very drama-filled family (“bat crap crazy” is how people refer to her and her mom). She has a very low-paying job and a child from a previous relationship (she admits to getting pregnant to make the guy stay, but he didn’t).The girl is severely overweight (my ex is a petite guy), looks like a drag queen, doesn’t have any friends or a social life, yada yada. Because I know at least three or four of my girlfriends to whom this happened to recently.They’ve overestimated their capacity for a relationship and pushed down their feelings about their ex because they use you, albeit not always intentionally, to help you get them through this transition.If they’re typically emotionally unavailable or just the type that likes to be in a relationship, they won’t be good at being on their own but may be operating under the misguided notion that if you’re special enough that they’ll magically get over their ex and be available to you, which is pretty damn lazy.It’s very possible that under a whole other set of circumstances, that maybe you could have had a committed relationship, which of course would be under the proviso that not only are they typically emotionally available but that under the new circumstances you wouldn’t be a Fallback Girl (or Guy) either.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s that they’re scared shitless of commitment or intimacy or whether they’re moping after their ex or creeping around behind your back having talks with them; they’re unavailable.So my partner of two years left me without warning for a mutual friend three months ago.